Home

Karalee recently returned from her year as a missionary in Costa Rica.


Home. This place. In the small hillbilly town of Rathdrum, Idaho. I am here to stay for a while. A new concept I'm still trying to wrap my mind around and get use to again. It all feels like a weird dream, that I can't seem to find my way out of. I don't know when it'll hit me that it's actually real. I'm here. This is my life now. Again.

I am home alone today. It's just me and the dog. It feels so nice. I haven't been completely alone in SO long. In Costa Rica I was hardly alone. We did everything together - took walks, went to coffee or the post-office, baked, went to teachers houses', taught at the high school, slept, and ate, I mean EVERYTHING together. The only time I felt alone was when I woke up at 5 in the morning to go run and write... which became more and more sparse as time went on and my motivation deteriorated. It's a breath of fresh air being here now, in this comfortable setting alone. I never realized silence could be so loud. There's this enormous buzz going straight through my ears, and I have to adjust my sitting position, or click my tongue every once in a while to hear something supposedly "quiet" to believe that the noise I'm hearing is actually silence, and not a loud tractor outside the window.

This is the 5th day of being home, and I haven't blogged sooner, because I'm unsure of what to say. Some people say that culture shock coming back into their home country is worse than when they left. And it's hard to tell just yet, I haven't been out much. Church on Saturday and Spokane Valley Mall yesterday (it was energy sucking I can assure you). Honestly, I feel like I'm living in LUXURY here. It is SO fantastic (I feel so rich and so comfortable) but at the same time, it can be a bit overwhelming. I mean, our kitchen in this house is twice the size of the room I shared with 2 other girls for the past 8 months (including all of our STUFF). My bathroom here, is as big as our old kitchen. My entire house is bigger than the entire school. We have granite, and hard-wood and CARPET! and a DISHWASHER! and a VACUUM! (I forgot what those things were), and HOT WATER in the faucets and in our shower. We have our own cars and we can come and go as we please. We have a big screen TV, and couches and chairs. I can walk with bare feet in my house without getting grossed out by all the dirt, hair, and bugs on the cement floor, and sleep with one leg out of the covers without putting mosquito repellent on and still getting bit up the wazoo. We have a washer and dryer, and laundry is done in a jiffy with little to no effort. We have a piano (there was not a single piano in the entire town of Monteverde), and a pantry the size of my old bathroom (not to mention stocked with good food from the floor to the ceiling). We have TWO refrigerators, and 3 freezers. My bed is huge and soft with red royal sheets, and an electric heater to keep me warm at night.  There are no cracks in the windows were the wind can blow in and freeze our noses off in the middle of the night. There are no creepy men outside my windows peering through the cracks in the curtains watching us sit on our beds and lesson plan or Pinterest, just waiting to see if they'll get lucky and we'll change into our pajamas. I don't have to worry about waking up with a tarantula on my shoulder again or finding dead cockroaches under my pillow that I must've tackled in the middle of the night. I can wear clothes that I actually LIKE here, but unfortunately I've forgotten what that means to like a piece of clothing. I can understand anything and everything that I wish to, and my brain doesn't hurt from translating and trying so hard. It is cold here but I have everything I need to make myself comfortable. Slippers, sweats, sweaters, fuzzy blankets, and at the moment, I'm drinking pumpkin spice gourmet hot chocolate (who knew that existed? But it's SO good!). Did I even mention food? I haven't touched a single piece of beans or rice since I've been home (5 days, now that's a record, phew thank the Lord!). I can choose whatever the heck I want to eat, whenever the heck I want to eat it, and it tastes SO INCREDIBLY GOOD! I am almost certain I could clean out our pantry and fridge in a day if I was given the chance. I am home with my family and I can finally get that time alone that I've craved for so long. It sounds exactly like the dream I've been dreaming for the past 8 months, and this time it's actually for real and that's so confusing to me. Then there was church, and that was even MORE overwhelming.

We have all this STUFF. And almost EVERY house in America has all this STUFF. And everyone thinks it's the most normal thing in the world. There's hardly any thought about waking up in the morning without bug bites and taking a hot shower, and putting on an outfit that altogether equals a total of $70 or more (for a single freaking outfit) and buzzing over to Starbucks to pick up coffee and a bagel on your way to work. And it's COMPLETELY normal here. Not a single thought about this luxury ever occurs, to any of us here. It just becomes normal in our day-to-day lives. I know. I've been this way my entire life up until the last 5 days, and I'm sure everything that I consider a luxury now will eventually go back to being considered "normal". But right now, it grieves me to know that people are not thankful for the abundance that is theirs. We've heard it all our lives, that people always yearn for more and more things to fill up their lives with. Maybe then I will be happy, they think. It is so sad. So wrong.

I want travel to occur more often in the rest of my life. I've found that when I travel for an extended period of time, I am reminded of the luxuries I have at "home" wherever home may be at the time. I am made more fully aware of my surroundings. I am more contemplative. More thoughtful. More grateful. More at peace. More happy. More myself.

I have learned a lot from this year abroad. I wouldn't change a thing. I am so blessed to have had this opportunity to learn and grow and experience 1st hand so many new concepts and cultural differences. And at the end of it all, I am eternally grateful for the abundance that is mine.

Guest House

 

Karalee is nearly finished with her year serving in Costa Rica.  

 

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meaness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whomever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-Jalal ad-Din Rumi

Stars

Karalee is currently serving as an SM in Costa Rica. 

Tonight I found myself in awe of the stars.
The frigid wind played with the loose wisps of hair around my face.
I looked in search of answers.
Maybe the sky has secrets too, I wondered.
The smallest of stars -clinging close together- shined brightest in the sky.
It looked like a break-through in the darkness.
Like a whole secret world lied behind it -underneath it.
I wondered if there was more life out there.
Some sort of secret life.
Something on the other side of the darkness.
Through that small break-through.
Something bigger than me. This place. This country. This earth. This universe.
Someone bigger out there.
I turned my back against the street lights and a whole new arrangement of stars appeared.
They burned passionately. So intently -with all the might they could muster.
I found my mind sort of turn to mush. I guess you could call it mind-blowing.
I felt the presence of eyes on my back and turned to face them.
It was a stranger passing on the road 20 feet from where I stood.
I wondered if they thought I was crazy.
I was dizzy and disoriented.
Perplexed and amazed.
It didn't matter though -if they thought I was crazy.
I wondered why I hadn't looked at the stars sooner.

Costa Rica Stars 

Some Blood. Mostly Sweat and Tears.

Amber is a missionary in Pnom Penh, Cambodia.  

 

Sometimes all you need is someone to truthfully look you right in the eyes, straight down to your soul, and say that they believe in you.

We are currently learning the books of the Bible in class. Each week I have assigned the students ten new books to memorize along with their weekly memory verse. In order to mildly shake up our somewhat monotonous routine, this week I wrote the new ten books onto the whiteboard in cursive. Every so often I have brought out handwriting worksheets to let the kids practice and they usually want to kill me for doing so; they think writing anything in English is already hard enough. However, I typically choose to counteract their complaints by explaining to them that learning new things may be challenging, but inevitably good for them.

One of my 4^th grade boys was almost in tears today as he looked up at my cursive handwriting on the whiteboard. “Cha, it is easy for you and very difficult for me!” he yelled out in desperation, hoping that I would change my mind over this assignment. The poor boy looked so hopelessly hopeless. I could not help but chuckle inside over his seemingly unnecessary tears, not to be condescending, but only because I know that he has some of the most beautiful handwriting in the class.

I knew he would continue to complain if I just ignored his appeals. So, I then got down to his level, kneeling down in front of his desk. I looked right into his teary, brown eyes and said, “You can do this, I know you can.” He quickly pleaded, “No Cha, I cannot at all!” I made a face of disbelief at him, and I think he understood that I was not going to change the assignment for him. I asked again, still kneeling down in front of him, to please try. I stayed there for a few minutes at his desk until he finally put his pencil to the paper and slowly wrote out….E….s….t…h….e….r. In between each letter he would look up at me; I am still really not sure as to why he did this other than to feel my support. He finished the last loop on the “r” and I gave him the biggest smile I could and said one word: perfect. He all of a sudden lit up with confidence; his previous tears now made his eyes sparkle.  “See, I knew you could do it,” I said.

I walked away from Serey Reach’s desk and watched him from mine as he quickly finished his assignment close to perfection. This was such a simple moment, and yet it burned so deep into my heart. I could not help but see myself in my student. So many times throughout the past five months I have found myself in tears, screaming and pleading for an easier assignment. I picture God up there, chuckling inside over MY seemingly unnecessary tears, not to be condescending, but because He knows I can do it. Just like my student, I am constantly in search and search and search for affirmation from every direction…and maybe that is selfish of me…but maybe it is also just human.

It is hard being here, I struggle…but today someone truthfully looked right into MY teary, brown eyes, straight into my soul, and said that they believed in me…and I felt like that was enough to let me know that God is not leaving me out to dry here in stifling Cambodia. He’s working away; He’s working through Alex’s and my own literal blood, sweat, and tears and in the end I’m thankful for my assignment because after all, learning and experiencing new things may be challenging but it is inevitably good for me.

For those of you who actually read this, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your prayers and support because those things are what keep us going.

Much love from Cambodia.

-Amber

Pohnpei Musings

WWU's school newspaper, the Collegian, is running a feature next week on Student Missions.  We asked students to answer some FAQs about being an SM.  This response is from Tracy, who is currently teaching in Pohnpei.  

The Pohnpei missionaries: Tracy is in the purple shirt second from right.

 

1.  What has surprised you most about being a student missionary?
 

What I learn about my own cultured, while learning about theirs.

2. What is challenging about being a student missionary?

Everything! Grading, teaching, living!

3. What has helped you overcome these challenges?

I know we hear it all the time, but praying and reading my bible. But it is also absolutely necessary to talk to people more experienced then you as well!
 

4. Where have you seen God working in your experience there?
 

In my students, island family, the principle's family, the church and the other SMs!
 

5. Why did you want to be a student missionary?
 

Many reasons: mostly because I felt God had lead me to the point I was at, showing me that yes he did want me to go.
 

6. What do you miss the most about home?
 

Food, people and spending those quiet moments with my family.
 

7. What is the purpose of a student missionary, to you?
 

To share your experience of being with God.
 

8. Do you feel you have made a difference in the lives of those around you in your mission post? (For returned 

SMs, where do you see you made the greatest difference?)
 

Yes though some days it is hard to see how. Somehow God uses me though even through my imperfections.
 

9. Does the world still need student missionaries? If so, why?
 

Of Course! It is good to have younger people serving.

Daniel

Katie is currently serving as an SM at Maxwell Adventist Academy in Nairobi, Kenya.

Meet Daniel, my second grade African Soul twin.

Alright, so I know we shouldn’t have favorites and I really do love all of my children, but I can’t lie, there is a special place in my heart for this kid.

Daniel is crazy, energetic, unfocused, talkative and a whole lot like what I imagine myself to have been at his age. I remember standing in my parent’s bathroom as a child practicing contorting my faces into all sorts of strange looks, thinking that if I didn’t do this my face would be stuck in one position forever. Not a day goes by where Daniel does not bust out one of his adorably ridiculous faces. Daniel is not in my homeroom, I only teach him Social Studies and math but those eighty minutes of joy a day are some of my favorites.

Last night, at the Christmas concert as the 2^nd-8^th graders got up to perform two songs, I made my way to the front row to take pictures. As I sat down, Daniel gave me a look that signaled a mix of terror and embarrassment as if he was thinking “NO! Put the camera down! Don’t do it!” as his eyes bugged out of his head. I lost it; I started laughing and did not stop until their two songs were over. Every time I looked at him during that performance it started all over again, he was trying so hard to hold it together and doing a much better job at it than me. I found him after the program and told him he did a good job and that he made me laugh and I couldn't stop, “I know” he said “I was afraid to laugh with you.”

This is the child who always somehow gets hit in the head at recess by a passing swing or trampled two seconds into running laps in PE, the one who cheers for pictures of bugs in his book and pretends to be snoring during Social Studies.

About a week ago, Daniel got detention two days in a row (sometimes he has a hard time focusing), for detention in the elementary they have to do all the after school chores, a very effective punishment. Well, on his second day I came in and saw him once again filing everyone’s papers and said “Daniel, why are you always in detention?”

 “I don’t know” he replied.

 “You don’t know? Well, are your parents happy about this?”

“I don’t tell them! They like to be happy.”

One of the classes I teach Daniel is math. When everyone else is busy at work on their homework, Daniel is still only half way through the subtraction problem on number one. I know he knows how to do the work but he is too busy singing and talking to himself that he just can’t get anywhere. Sometimes I have him come up to my desk and make him do a few so I can watch his steps…

“Alright Daniel what is the next step?”
“I add the ones, the 9 and the 7.”

“ok, and what does that equal?”

“6..”

I give him a knowing look and he makes a face.

“teen” he adds a few seconds later, grinning ear to ear knowing for a second I thought he got it wrong.

Anyone who knows Daniel would know that there is just something wonderful about him. His happiness is contagious. There have been days where I just wanted to do anything but explain to the second graders what the constitution is or force our way through another story problem. But then Daniel tells me that Mother Nature is George Washington’s wife, and all is right with the world.

As this year continues I have to remind myself to take a moment to smile, relax and enjoy these children and this job. I want to maintain or find some of Daniels joy and spunk, his uninhibited love for life.

 I always wondered if there would be kids who would just steal my heart, ones that I seriously considered putting in my suitcase to take home with me kinda kids. Turns out his name is Daniel and he has stolen my heart.