Some Blood. Mostly Sweat and Tears.

Amber is a missionary in Pnom Penh, Cambodia.  

 

Sometimes all you need is someone to truthfully look you right in the eyes, straight down to your soul, and say that they believe in you.

We are currently learning the books of the Bible in class. Each week I have assigned the students ten new books to memorize along with their weekly memory verse. In order to mildly shake up our somewhat monotonous routine, this week I wrote the new ten books onto the whiteboard in cursive. Every so often I have brought out handwriting worksheets to let the kids practice and they usually want to kill me for doing so; they think writing anything in English is already hard enough. However, I typically choose to counteract their complaints by explaining to them that learning new things may be challenging, but inevitably good for them.

One of my 4^th grade boys was almost in tears today as he looked up at my cursive handwriting on the whiteboard. “Cha, it is easy for you and very difficult for me!” he yelled out in desperation, hoping that I would change my mind over this assignment. The poor boy looked so hopelessly hopeless. I could not help but chuckle inside over his seemingly unnecessary tears, not to be condescending, but only because I know that he has some of the most beautiful handwriting in the class.

I knew he would continue to complain if I just ignored his appeals. So, I then got down to his level, kneeling down in front of his desk. I looked right into his teary, brown eyes and said, “You can do this, I know you can.” He quickly pleaded, “No Cha, I cannot at all!” I made a face of disbelief at him, and I think he understood that I was not going to change the assignment for him. I asked again, still kneeling down in front of him, to please try. I stayed there for a few minutes at his desk until he finally put his pencil to the paper and slowly wrote out….E….s….t…h….e….r. In between each letter he would look up at me; I am still really not sure as to why he did this other than to feel my support. He finished the last loop on the “r” and I gave him the biggest smile I could and said one word: perfect. He all of a sudden lit up with confidence; his previous tears now made his eyes sparkle.  “See, I knew you could do it,” I said.

I walked away from Serey Reach’s desk and watched him from mine as he quickly finished his assignment close to perfection. This was such a simple moment, and yet it burned so deep into my heart. I could not help but see myself in my student. So many times throughout the past five months I have found myself in tears, screaming and pleading for an easier assignment. I picture God up there, chuckling inside over MY seemingly unnecessary tears, not to be condescending, but because He knows I can do it. Just like my student, I am constantly in search and search and search for affirmation from every direction…and maybe that is selfish of me…but maybe it is also just human.

It is hard being here, I struggle…but today someone truthfully looked right into MY teary, brown eyes, straight into my soul, and said that they believed in me…and I felt like that was enough to let me know that God is not leaving me out to dry here in stifling Cambodia. He’s working away; He’s working through Alex’s and my own literal blood, sweat, and tears and in the end I’m thankful for my assignment because after all, learning and experiencing new things may be challenging but it is inevitably good for me.

For those of you who actually read this, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for your prayers and support because those things are what keep us going.

Much love from Cambodia.

-Amber

Waking up in Cambodia

by Alex Drury

Phnom Penh, Cambodia, at Cambodia Adventist School 

Alex with her students.

And so begins week three of teaching the young-ins. It is barely past seven o’clock in the morning and already I am finding myself wiping the sweat from my forehead in between giving morning worship to my students. I am having the most difficult time fathoming how Cambodia could possibly become any more sweltering and humid than it has already proven itself to be. Still, all of the locals assure me that we are currently in “cold” rainy-season.  I believe it sure as ever seems as though Cambodia is as close to hell-hot as it can get, as it is already hard enough to breathe here….but maybe I am just still in denial.

Today, I must admit that walking out of our apartment and coming to school took more than a stretch of my efforts and beyond the normal “We’ve got this” pep-talk from Alex. Don’t take me wrong, my students have already stolen my heart and I love them to pieces. I just suppose a whole part of me is still “at home” in any desire to find comfort, whereas I know that I should be wholly here.

In the beginning I comprehended the necessity of being present…here, where I physically was, not wherever my head was. I understood that it was going to be more than vital to completely and wholeheartedly throw every ounce of myself into this experience and for the most part I have attempted to do just as so, but I would be lying if I said that being here, any part of me being here, was easy. By no strains of the imagination is this easy. Nonetheless it is exactly what I signed up for.

Waking up in Cambodia is hard. Leaving my unconscious “reality” and being hit hard by the actual reality that is around me every morning usually shakes me up more than not. The alarm alone is enough to shake up my world, then in addition so quickly more “abnormalities” come flying in every direction. Oh yeah, there’s the wild pack of dogs again that always seem to be fighting outside our window…oh right, every morning without fail I WILL wake up sticky and miserably hot, mhhmm, five o’clock in the morning really IS the middle of the night, I cannot even see my hand in front of my face….and the hardest morning realization of them all…I am quite literally a world away from anything that is comfortable to me.

Inevitably I will allow these thoughts to overflow my mind state until the second “snooze alarm” hits me like a brick wall. Amber, you can do this. I am not completely positive how or where these words come to me each and every morning, but they do without fail.   I would like to believe that these words are from something greater than just my subconscious. I would really like to believe that this is an example of God carrying me through this. I’d like to believe that He’s right there every morning without fail, flashing each of my students’ faces in my mind, reminding me to not only finish what I have started, but to master it.

I do, with absolute confidence, know that this year abroad as a student missionary would be a thousand and a half times harder if I did not believe that God was here carrying me through each moment of every day. For that alone I am appreciative; I know that if I tried to accomplish this year on my own, it would be near impossible. It honestly is the craziest feeling, to know and feel Him working through me and the people around me. I am so blessed to have a God that cares about me.

And so, as I sit here wiping the sweat from my forehead, my prayer is that I never forget why I am here, in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, how thankful I am that I will never have to do this alone, and that I always remember this experience is so..SO very much greater than a few pictures on Facebook ..or a couple of check marks off of my bucket list; this experience is so far beyond my own self.

Leaving!

by Amber Aqui

Phnom Penh, Cambodia, at Cambodia Adventist School 

We board our plane to Phnom Penh in twenty minutes. And just like that the greatest adventure of my life begins.  I still am not even completely positive as to how the process of becoming a student missionary began. It likely started as a mere possibility of an idea, a few pieces of redundant paperwork here, a couple of meetings there, and before I knew it, I had submerged so far in to the “idea” that my passport was in hand and my plane tickets to Phnom Penh had been booked. There is unquestionably no turning back now. With each step of the process I did not realize the magnitude of what all the meetings and paperwork would eventually add up to. Now, at the end of the beginning, (the hours and hours of planning and waiting) I realize.

I clearly remember the first time I too confidently waltzed into the Student Missions office at Walla Walla University and sat down with Jeanne, our SM coordinator.

“Jeanne,” I said, “I will take any call that does not, ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT require me to teach.”

Amber with her students in Cambodia.

I actually did believe myself for quite a while…and then God punched me in the face. Interesting how things work out.

In actuality I was not even slightly interested in leaving the perimeters of my lovely and mostly comfortable home country; I initially applied to a taskforce position as a dean, managed to launch myself pretty far into process,  only find out that I was one year too young. Although this frustrated me, I HAD to believe that God had different plans in store.  Teaching high-school math and English in Cambodia is so far off from my initial plan that it MUST BE a God thing.

Throughout the year one of my most amazing friends, Alexandria Drury, had also been furiously searching for the “right” call. Her application experience was somewhat similar to mine; her heart had originally been set in a completely different direction. I remember calling Alex shortly before hearing a yes or no on the taskforce position, “If God closes this door, I’m going to take it as a sign that we are supposed to look elsewhere, together.” She completely agreed, and after that call I instantaneously felt like God was leading me in a different direction, and quite honestly I was scared to absolute death about the new feeling He was placing deep inside of me, so deep it frightened me to search for it.

After my original let down from the taskforce position, I called Alex again, and a whole new set of emotions flew in, poured in, almost overwhelmingly in only the good sense of the word. We were going TOGETHER and it felt oh so exciting, but oh so incredibly intimidating. Now we just had to figure out where.

The only problem was that Alex and my original wants were polar opposites. I had somewhat selfishly wanted an “easy out” with many comforts of home, and Alex wanted a thatch hut in the middle of the desolate jungle, or so it felt. We talked about the islands, Pohnpei, Saipan, we even pondered Thailand…and after a few weeks, seemingly out of nowhere, Cambodia was proposed. We both, oddly enough in our indecisiveness, agreed within literal minutes that this was where we were being called to. We shot an email to the director in Cambodia right then and within two days we were told that we were wanted for the teaching positions.

This entire pre-Student Missionary experience has already been a test of patience and perseverance and I can already tell that we have been changed for the better.

I can say with entire confidence, God wanted us here. Right now I cannot tell you why, but wholeheartedly I believe that He brought us here. I not only want to believe that, I NEED to.

Note: Amber and Alex have now been in Cambodia for a month and a half.  They are enjoying their challenging but rewarding teaching positions and the adventures God allows them to experience every day.