Costa Rica
Where do I begin?
This week has been phenomenal, and I am SO grateful for such
a blessed week.
There was only one time this week, that wasn’t so good, but
because of that moment, my day and week was ultimately better. It was
Thursday morning, I woke up and walked into our kitchen, hungry and in search
of breakfast, but before I reached the door, I saw the evidence of another
break in on the ground. Wrappers, banana peels, were in a heap in front of the
half cracked open door. I walked inside and found all of our contents once
nicely arranged on the small counter, in a disheveled mess on the floor. The lid
to the sugar container had been opened, and the remaining contents spilled all
over the ground. Our oatmeal, salt, pepper, cocoa, pumpkins, spices, plantains,
were all on the floor bitten open and ruined. To say I was furious would be an
understatement. Unsure of where to begin, I walked past the pile of food
and began doing the dishes in the sink. Immediately after, Rachel showed
up, followed by Bianca. The kids that arrive at the school half an hour early
everyday decided to join us, in our 4 ft kitchen space. Their loud, annoying
voices are not appreciated that early in the morning… especially on top of a
morning like THAT. That is one horrible reason for living at the school, you
can never just "get away" and have your own space. Kids follow
you home.
We went to our teacher meeting at 7:45. Yet again (like
every morning), we were interrupted by one of the kids, wanting to ask a
not-important-could-definitely-wait- ten-minutes-question. But of course, no
one here sees the same way I do, and an interruption routinely everyday in
the middle of a conversation is not even given a second thought. I on the other
hand, am completely sick of the disrespect shown by the students. It’s not that
they’re intentionally trying to be disrespectful, it’s just that they are allowed to do the things they do, and
it’s come to be all that they know. They just need a few more rules and
boundaries to show the teachers the respect they deserve.
After our meeting, we began Bible. I just can’t do it. I
can’t tolerate the wild chaos in the classroom like Rachel and Bianca can. They
don’t threaten the kids, they don’t punish them, they just repeatedly ask the
kids to get up off the floor, sit correctly in their seat, stop talking, keep
their hands to themselves, etc. I can’t do that. That’s how the entire class period goes… everyday! I do
not have the patience to tolerate that. I just can’t do it. Thankfully, my
kindergarteners know I won’t put up with any of that. I put an end to that
on the third day of teaching. My kindergarteners sit quietly in their seats
like good children. I guess this observation has made me be thankful for
where I got placed at the school. I am so glad I am teaching kindergarten, as
much as I never thought I’d say that. The kindergarteners are my favorite. I
have trained them to listen; to know
that I don’t mess around.
To top off the bad morning, we hadn’t had our laundry done
in 3 weeks, and I was wearing the same clothes over and over again. I was
frustrated that we had been forgotten.
I let the kids play longer than usual because I just didn’t
want to handle anything. Rachel came and knocked on our door and asked if I
wanted tea. It was chilly outside, and tea sounded great, so she brought it to
me moments later. I guess the warm liquid running down my throat not only
warmed by hands and my body, but my spirits too, because shortly after a few
sips, life started to look up and the sun outside began to shine.
Our craft for the day required that we go outside and
collect branches from off the trees. So we set out to find some good ones. Next
we went to the café to pop some popcorn. We played a few games with the
popcorn, decorated our tree branches with popcorn, and then watched a movie and
ate the remaining leftovers. Just watching the kiddos sit there inside the
bottom shelf against the wall, so happy and carefree, melted my heart. I’m really starting to love these kids.
I bet it was a sight to see, when their teacher climbed down to sit in the tiny
shelf next to them and enjoy a good movie with some popcorn.
After the movie, the kids practiced writing the letter J,
and we turned our focus to the word of the day, “jump”. We went outside and I tried
to teach the kids jump rope. Nicole picked it up right away but Esteban had a
hard time swinging the rope with the correct timing. “Jump, jump, jump…” I
would repeat at the correct time. Apparently while we were practicing, my face
had made a pretty interesting look
(maybe a face filled with intense concentration, and a little bit of fear from
the fact that the rope could get yanked from Esteban’s hand at any minute), and
Esteban immediately began giggling away. Pretty soon, Nicole began laughing as well,
and before I knew it we were all giggling hysterically--Esteban and Nicole
going as far as rolling on the ground, unable to control their laughter. The
fact that they could not contain it made my laugh instinctive, and my heart
just about tripled with joy and weight loss.
After lunch it was just Nicole and I (Esteban goes home for
lunch, and sometimes he doesn’t come back). I like when it’s just us. I feel
like its then that I can actually tell that she really likes me. She tries to
speak to me about her life and she teaches me so many new words. She’s a good
teacher. She’s more patient than the boys, and she’s good at speaking slowly
and finding a way to explain. We crawled inside our makeshift fort constructed
with a blanket covering the bottom shelf against the wall, and we watched our
video. It was like one of those sweet moments, that you hope you never forget.
Afterwards we played “Go Fish” and she practiced using her English, “Do you
have…” and she’d name all the animals in English. I loved the fact that I’d
taught her almost all that she knows. She knows SO much. I quizzed her with
flashcards on English words afterwards, and she knew about half the stack! I still can’t even believe it! She’s getting so
good. I’m so thankful for all that this opportunity is sharing with me.
Basically, this week is good, SO good. Life is better now
than it has been in a REALLY long time. Or maybe I’m just more appreciative now
than before.
I’m learning a lot, and one of the things I’ve learned is
that everyone is running a race in life. Some people run it to win, some to
race to the finish line with a decent time, some on a leisure walk, some so
exhausted they can barely take another step in front of them, some completely
at a stand still and some walking backwards. No matter where they are in
the race, everyone’s bound to hit a wall. Maybe even multiple. I think I’m in a
phase, a really long phase of wall hitting. It’s like it’s really just one long
foggy wall, but I keep hitting smaller walls as well. I hit multiple walls last
year, this summer at camp, trying to get here to Costa Rica, and so many little
walls since I’ve been here. Even this week I hit a wall in that early morning
on Thursday. Everyone hits walls occasionally. I know it’s not uncommon,
although we’d really like to believe that to be a false statement. But more
than anything, I hope this experience as a whole pulls me out of the biggest,
foggy, wall, so I just have a few here and there. What I REALLY want more than
anything, is to learn how to go back to being that carefree, joyful,
smiling-without-a-single-reason-why- type of kid, that the kids I see everyday
remind me of so much. I hope, more than anything that I can take THAT away from
this experience. That at least if I don’t get through this foggy wall in the
time that I want, I’ll be able to take away good reminders, and lessons, and
habits, that will help me get through them when they hit. I hope I grow to
become more and more like these kids… they are teaching me so much, in more
ways than one. How will I ever be able to show them what they are beginning to
mean to me?
Re-posted from Karalee's blog, http://karaleeincostarica.blogspot.com/2012/11/through-foggy-walls-into-sunshine.html
